Wednesday, June 02, 2004

 

That's Ms. Chick to you

Previously on SBTB: Jessie got a new stepbrother, Eric. No one likes Eric, but Eric likes Lisa. Zack bribes Lisa to go out with Eric so he can photograph Eric in Mrs. Belding's new car. But Eric lets Lisa drive and since she's a sucky one, she crashes into a brick wall.

Zack, Slater and Screech take an inventory of all the damage done to the car and conclude that it’ll cost $600. Screech says something about winning the lottery, which gives Zack an idea.

At the Max Lisa relays all of the “exciting” details of her date to Jessie, who wants to find out what Zack and Slater are up to. Lisa walks her to the door as Eric comes in. Lisa asks him if he wants to go to the MC Hammer concert with her and he happily agrees.

In the hall, Zack announces that he’s selling tickets to Bayside’s Official Secret Math Lottery. As opposed to the unofficial one. Tickets are selling like hotcakes and Slater and Zack let Screech know that he’s gonna be the winner. Yeah, that won’t look like the obvious fixed contest that it is. Jessie comes down the steps and demands an explanation to the hijinx that are ensuing. As Slater and Zack explain, Mr. Belding comes waltzing around the corner, back early from some conference. Belding wants to hear Bo Jackson Sings the Blues on the new CD player so Zack and Slater give him some nonsensical jargon about the compatibility issues between a Japanese car and a German CD player and tell him that it won’t be ready for a day or so.

Later, before math class starts, Zack announces the rules of the lottery: the teacher will pull a math question from the box on his desk and the person who has the ending numbers will win. Zack assumes that we don’t know how they’ll pull this one off. Oh, Zack. I’m sure it’ll be by some illegal means. Sure enough, Zack signals for the firm alarm to be set off. When everyone leaves, Screech replaces the question box. Cut to a few minutes later: as the teacher reads off each number of the problem’s answer, people yell while reading their tickets. And this guy is still clueless. As promised, Screech wins, and in the bathroom, Slater has to force the money from him. As they start to leave, Eric appears from a stall – without flushing – and reveals that he heard everything. He’s willing to forget if Slater lends him his car to drive his “girl” to the concert. Zack gets all Alpha Male on him and informs Eric that Lisa is most certainly not his girl and proceeds to tell Eric the real reason Lisa agreed to go out with him.

Eric walks into the Max and confronts Lisa while Jessie watches. She confesses about the tickets, but Eric doesn’t want to hear any explanations. He calls her a liar, which isn’t really true, but she continues to let him yell at her. He leaves and she sinks back into her booth, crying. Jessie solemnly asks if its true and we get to experience Lark Voorhies’s tumble into painfully bad acting. Her face crumples up and she explains, “Yes. But when I took the tickets I didn’t like him. And now, I don’t like me.” For the longest time I thought she was saying, “And now he don’t like me” which made me cringe every time. Anywho, Lisa starts sobbing and Jessie comes over to comfort her. The audience was obviously offended by the over-the-topness as well because only 5 people “Aww”ed and they barely made it before the scene changed.

In auto shop class, Eric convinces the teacher to take apart Mrs. Belding’s car. After class, Zack and Slater walk in to discover the car in thousands of pieces and Screech in a stack of tires. Now, I know it’s Screech, but how do you let someone trap you in a stack of tires? When Screech blabs that he helped take the car apart Slater throws the tire back over his head. Great.

Later, Jessie walks into her room – now occupied by Eric – and tells him that Lisa’s really upset and that she had nothing to do with Zack and Slater’s plan. That’s not entirely true. She was an unknowing pawn. Anyway, Eric tells Jessie how he had the shop class take apart the car and Jessie tells him that if she were a guy she’d punch him. But only if you were a guy, right Jessie? Eric says something about her being just a chick and she hits him on the right side of his face. But only if you were a guy, right Jessie? Ha. Anyway, Eric falls back on the bed and gingerly touches his left eye. Jessie screams, “C’mon. You want more?” Um, Jessie, you didn’t exactly sucker punch him, but he wasn’t expecting it. Plus he was hitting the punching bag when you came in. Let it go. Jessie tells him that she doesn’t want a brother anymore.

The next day, Zack and Slater try to tell Mr. Belding about the car, but he rushes to the garage to see it. The car is in perfect condition, much to Zack and Slater’s surprise. In the middle of thanking Slater, some guy gets on the P.A. and tells Mr. Belding that there are mice on the loose. Yeah, I don’t think you’re supposed to make that common knowledge. Belding walks out and Eric slides out from under the car. Eric tells them that he’s moving back to New York.

While packing, Jessie brings everyone (sans Kelly. Hey, where was she? Oh, well) in to tell Eric that he should stay blah blah blah. Lisa tells him that she’d really miss him and she kisses him. You know, I’m not really comfortable with seeing Lisa kiss anyone but Zack. And Eric doesn’t even kiss her back. He just looked at her and then continued to pack. OK, this kid is getting on my nerves. Jessie asks everyone to leave and convinces him to stay. She asks him for a hug a little too flirtatiously. After their moment (which really made me a little uncomfortable), she tells him to get out of her room. Which he obviously did, immediately moving to the SBTB Bermuda Triangle.

--Kia

Quote of the episode:
Eric: Well, well. Isn't this interesting.
Zack: What are you doing here?
Eric: It's a bathroom. Take a guess.

Grade:
Kia: C. This episode was definitely not as fun as the first. The acting was horrible to say the least and the way Jessie was eyeing her stepbrother was disturbing. But I do want a copy of Bo Jackson Sings the Blues.

1:43 PM